Itches & Stiches
On our first date I lied to you 36 times in a row,
I didn’t mention that I’m terrible at taking care of myself and that flowers remind me of the moon,
I mentioned him that was stupid of me,
I’m sorry, that damn pain was the only comfort I knew,
You looked at me like a version of myself that maybe I could be,
so I didn’t mention the hurricane of hurt I can spill if I’m not careful,
I lied to you instead; 36 times in a row when I kept calling you my friend, I’m sorry, I was afraid,
You were bashful and tongue tied,
You walked like a confident accident,
I needed to knead your insecurities into a blanket of self love,
love me.
I wasn’t ready to fall in love, not yet, I couldn’t do it good yet,
But your teeth stains were the only thing worth setting my alarm clock to see,
I wanted to morph into anything you wanted to experience just to know what it would be like to be desired that much,
My pressed flower chest wasn’t ready for you yet and I forgot to mention the hurricane of hurt I can spill if I’m not careful,
So I lied to you instead; 36 times in a row when I kept calling you my friend,
I’m sorry, I was afraid,
I was a bundle of itches and stitches, sketching anxious metaphors into melting ice cubes,
Look I’m doing it again.